Never in a million years..

does one or family ever think this could happen, at least not us. On Monday, Sept. 24th our world was turn upside down. Fear was building up since Sunday as I started to bleed just slightly. Though sometimes normal, this was not the case for me. Never having any complications with Catherine, I waited till Monday morning to see the OB/GYN. It was around 8:30am when I knew things weren't OK. I was already at the office and I called Don right away to take me to the ER. It seemed like an eternity waiting, together with fears and uncertainty. The OB physician on duty, Dr Nguyen said because I was merely 21 weeks along, I needed to be at the Uni of Kentucky hospital in Lexington (2 hours drive away). I was airlifted by helicopter around 915am to UK hospital and Don drove in his car. At the UK hospital, I remember looking up at the clock in my room, it was already 1030am. The RNs and doctors swarmed the room hooking me up to all kinds of machines. The head OBGYN Neonatal physician, Dr Hansen came in later to brief us on what was going on and what our options were. We knew it wasn't good news but we still hoped for what seemed to be a miracle. Apparently, my cervix had started to dilate to about 3cm. The amniotic sac was already pushing through. They had given me antibiotics and a pill to slow down the contractions which was coming about 3-4 minutes apart. The options weren't what any parent wanted to hear. With a miracle, we can slow down or stop the contractions and allow the amniotic sac to return back into the womb. They kept me in 't-bird' position and let gravity do its job. But the chances of anything returning to normal was almost nothing. With the circumstances, we felt helpless and waiting was the only thing we could do. If nothing worse could go wrong, my water broke that afternoon. We prayed for another miracle but God had other plans for us. Our little girl "Mary" was born on Tuesday, September 25th, 2007 at 1:45pm. Though very tiny, she was perfect in every way. She was 14.6 oz and peaceful. We held her in our arms wrapped in a beautiful blanket, bonnet, and pale pink dress made by 2 kind ladies. Mary left us about an hour later. Though our moments together was brief, we will never forget this little angel and how she touched our lives.


We would like to thank all our family and friends for all the well wishes and prayers at this difficult time. With time, we will heal. We can cry a million tears and think of the 'what ifs', but nothing will change our fate. We know Mary will always be in our hearts.

First glimpse

BABY'S FIRST PICS:

The 'lounger'

Mommy and me

I knew when I was pregnant, I did not want to just let go. I was determined to stay healthy and happy, most of the time. I avoided the no-no food and drinks, risks, and people who who put a damper on things. I wanted the beauty of pregnancy to shine through physically and emotionally. I think the way we feel at this precious time, can effect the baby one way or another. Anytime I feel good enough or have the time, I put on some makeup and/or some heels. Looking good can change our whole outlook on ourselves and ultimately the people around us. Of course there are times when I don't feel well. No pregnancy is perfect and great all the time. I take it a day at a time and focus on the loved ones around and in me.

Being pregnant..

is different the second time around especially if it's been more than 5 years. People say you don't usually forget your first pregnancy. The 'first' feelings, the exciting and challenging experiences, the changes, and finally the BABY. However, I have forgotten the details. The risks of certain foods, medicine, activities, etc. I read "What to expect when you're expecting" religiously every night. It's still the same copy I referred to 5+ years ago. For those new mommys-to-be now or in the future, I would recommend this book. A new version would be nice.

Kiss the baby..

Early in the game, Catherine 'knew' there was a baby on the way. She asked one day around week 4, "Is there a baby in there?". The only thing I thought to say at that time was "How do you know?" It was way too early to spill the beans. We talked about it again when I took her to one of my ultrasound appointments (8 weeks). She had no idea why we were going to the doctor. When the sonogram wand was put to the belly, there 'it' is. She blurted out, " I knew it! I knew it!" With full of excitement, she was all smiles the whole time. Still at that time, I thought it was too early to tell the world. She promised not to tell. She got to keep the fuzzy picture from the sonogram.

My precious one..

Just yesterday it seems, Catherine was the chubby cheek baby everyone was fascinated by. Now at 5 years going on 6, she's is still our little girl with a firecracker personality. She shines brighter than a new penny, smiles bigger than a Cheshire cat and have a heart big enough to give and receive lots of love. You can see it in her eyes.